A valued exercise in my ripe old age- or at least, my ripe, slightly less young age - is the opportunity to reflect on the personal lessons life is trying to teach. The principles with value gained from years that days alone lack the worth to have earned.

Above all other lessons is one truth about Family. And it isn’t that Family is everything.

The Family You Choose is everything.

... So, what the hell does any of this have to do with Nick Lonardo?

Rewind to being raised as a Varner by parents who exemplify family over everything. Fast forward half a step to meeting the Lonardo’s. Specifically, Nick and Jeff, who exemplified and taught me that a family can be HUGE. Because everyone can be your family.

Fast forward another step to the summer of 2011. Marcus and I were growing out of our famous states of low self-assuredness and into a state of naivety that only exists in young adulthood: highly confident and lacking anything resembling a solid plan in the world. I was fresh from a mission; Marcus was either exiting his third freshman or entering his second sophomore year of college (it’s hard to tell).

I’ll never forget a conversation discussing our life goals and motivation. For each of us, the answer was: I want to make my father proud. We both talked about the rough roots our dads came from. The sacrifices made to give their kids a better shot. The values you taught us through living examples. Before that day, I was trying to make my dad proud.

In the days and years since, it's been clear that I was also trying to make my Vegas-raised, science-loving father figure proud.

Ralph Varner was the father figure that God gave me.

Nick Lonardo is a father figure that God put in the path for me to choose.

Now, as I write this letter, a deeper truth overwhelms me:

Nick Lonardo is a father figure who chose me, too.

For 21 years, your home opened its doors so wide that I stopped knocking years ago. Do Lonardo doors even have hinges?

The food you portion so generously is more familiar and comforting than anyone - save only my mother's infamous desserts.

You both asked and listened intently as I explained every school, career, or life decision.

You lectured me on the merits of Science - even if it was as successful as the attempt to lure Marcus (though you eventually seem to have won out with Andre).

You still celebrate my wins. Often, in your encouragement, I’ve found strength to endure times of uncertainty.

You were there when to celebrate crossing my first marathon finish line. About which let’s not forget two things:

1. That’s an achievement that should have been impossible to the adolescent Scott that you first met.

2. That was a race that I committed to with encouragement from Andre as a support to your first battle with cancer.

You are the Family I Choose, and that matters more to me than anything.

I celebrate calling you my family. I celebrate the gift of knowing we laugh, cry, love, and fight together.

So here’s to Nick Lonardo. A man who’s influenced me to be better for what is now most of my life. And who does the same for everyone lucky enough to know him.

-Scott Varner